Oh why oh why do they not buy?
From hard closes to small talk
Everything I did try
Customers have changed
That is the problem you see
With the Internet comes knowledge
They are no longer listening to me
My pitch doesn’t work
How can that be?
It was a one hit wonder
A guarantee
I was god’s gift to sales
It was all about me
I could sell icicles to Eskimos
And not just one but three
Customers didn’t know what hit them
When I came calling
I was slick and sly
But now I am called appalling
Oh why oh why do they not buy?
From hard closes to small talk
Everything I did try
I finish this note
With a defeated sigh
My name is Herb Tarlek
And my sales technique must die…